I Have to Leave
by Drarry Contributor
Summary: AU Draco has Tonks for a nanny, Harry has bruises he doesn't want to talk about. With the distinct sound of rock and the constant slurpee outings, the two discover what it means to be friends in the most destructive of ways. Drarry Haco HarryxDraco DracoxHarry Rewrite of the original The Many Ways to Say Goodbye
1. The Man Who Sold the World

_Hey everyone! Thanks for checking out my story! I've been working like crazy to get it written and keep most of the original. I did change a couple things like Draco going into writing instead of his dad's business. Certain deaths will still be there, even if it looks like they won't. Some major changes will include adding more detail and explaining more about the characters that were brushed over. It'll also have a lot more of Draco and Harry together rather than the brief glimpses mentioned before. And, per request, I am keeping the timeline mostly linear. The beginning of each chapter will have older Draco and then goes right back to where we left off in the past. So please enjoy!_

The Man Who Sold the World

(David Bowie)

Draco opened a word document and allowed his fingers to hover over the keyboard, almost daring the words to come out with his intense stare. But nothing did. He was left staring at a blank screen while the dull thrum of other keyboardists filled the room. He should have been working harder, like the others, and trying to get this done. Instead he didn't and just sat there wondering where the words had gone, but maybe they were never there.

It had been years since Draco had heard from Harry, or even Luna, but now on the anniversary of Tonks death he had sent Draco an email wanting to meet up. It wasn't formally written, if anything Draco was lucky that Harry capitalized his name, unlike everything else.

He didn't bother to question where his old friend had gotten his email from; his father had it all over their website, since Draco was one of the top contributors to the New York Times. Draco was such a cop-out. He should have stuck to the little indie newspapers he loved, but instead he decided to follow his father's rise to power and secure a top spot at a highly respected newspaper. It'll only help his father's political career.

At least Draco wasn't trying to follow him on that path, but the newspaper wasn't much of a rebellion.

"Hey Draco, are you done with that article yet? The chief is asking for it," Pansy called from her desk. She was the fashion columnist, which barely counted as news. But she enjoyed her job, and Draco knew if he hadn't requested her to join their team, she never would have tried to do this. He just wanted to get her out of bussing tables after her family lost all their money. Old money was hard to lose, but not entirely impossible either.

"No, and I don't think I will be done for a while. I'm stepping out." Draco replied, not bothering to acknowledge the way her eyes widened and then quickly glanced over at the chief's office door. Draco had a standing here, and taking the rest of the day off wouldn't affect anything.

He left the office and ignored the curious faces from all the word swollen members of their staff. Sometimes he really hated the journalism world.

As Draco stepped out into the chill air of New York City, he didn't mind the constant sound of people moving, going on with their lives. It was much better than the quiet of the suburbs, or the silence of his garage with his best friend Harry.

Draco wanted to hit something, break it, and kick at the remains. But more than anything he felt tired just thinking about it. Harry always made him tired.

Tonks was humming to Queen as it played softly over the radio. Normally she would blast it but Draco was on the phone with Pansy trying to make plans with the gang to go to a local Pink Floyd concert. They were going to get drunk and high, but he really just wanted to enjoy the music.

Tonks was putting together her 'care package' which was mostly filled with energy drinks, some quick to eat bars, and fruit snacks for the road. She had been to a fair amount of concerts and this was going to be Draco's first. He was fourteen and ready to take on the world.

"Okay so who is the best band in the world," Tonks asked just as Pansy hung up on Draco. He looked at her and beamed.

"Guns and Roses obviously," He said making her sigh dramatically and shake her head.

"It's Guns n Roses, sweetheart, otherwise you're not a true fan. Besides, I think Queen is way better but whatever loser." She said arrogantly with her lips pressed together mocking his mother. She would be snooty too but probably not about music. Draco couldn't even remember ever seeing his parents listen to music, let alone what their favorite bands might be.

Tonks had bright green hair, almost like a highlighter. She always dyed her hair crazy colors and as long as she stayed in the servant quarters, his parents didn't seem to care. She was pretty much Draco's cousin anyway. A long time ago she confided in him that she had been raped and lost the baby, that's how she wound up here, but since then she hasn't talked about it again.

Draco wasn't the type to pressure her, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know more anyway. Rape wasn't one of those stories that people enjoyed listening to. And anyway, he had this feeling that tonight would change things. The last time he had this feeling, his mother brought home Tonks.

The van was packed. Pansy, Blaise, Theo, and Daphne were there, Blaise driving illegally like normal just because he's two years older and his dad doesn't care. Blaise and Theo were up front, the two oldest. The babies were all in the back, or at least that's what Blaise calls them since they're all fourteen. Pansy had already started drinking the beer he'd snuck out of the house. Draco never touched the stuff after his first experience, but after she had downed three, Daphne was looking at them curiously too. He had never seen her drink before, but if she was going to, she might as well do it with friends.

Draco watched Theo pull a mix CD out of his pack and within moments they were blasting Nine Inch Nails. He absently sung along with the music quietly as Pansy squealed with delight. The venue wasn't too far away, only three hours, but it would be worth it once they got there. Personally Draco had a thing for the Beatles too, but that wasn't hard enough for his friends. But the idea of making music just to make people happy was so simple and kind that Draco was enthralled.

When they got there they left the van unlocked and raced inside with their bags to get to their seats, they only arrived with thirty minutes before the first band and they could tell from the lack of parking that the place was packed.

Their tickets were kind of shitty, Draco could have gotten the money for better, but then he wouldn't be with his friends. Theo, Blaise, and Daphne had money, but it was well known that Pansy didn't anymore. Because of that they keep their activities relatively cheap, and try not to talk about it. He knew she appreciated it, but would never say anything aloud.

Daphne was on her sixth beer, she'd already made us stop a few times to pee, but she didn't seem to be slowing down, even Pansy wasn't at that many beers. Her face was flushed and her pony-tail was coming undone, but she was cheering as loud as she could with the biggest smile he'd ever seen on her.

"Let's pass out more beers," Pansy smirked and handed out some to everyone, but Draco held up his root beer and smiled. His pointer was covering the word 'root' so Pansy just nodded and bypassed him, obviously fooled. It wasn't that he didn't want to drink, but Draco was fourteen and when he tried it he almost threw up, it was disgusting.

Something caught his eye though making him turn to look at the group seated next to theirs. It was another group of teenagers, all drinking beer, except for the guy directly beside Draco. He had on baggy worn clothes with stains that could never come out. His eyes were a bright green, something he could even see in the smoky haze of the venue. The guy had a mop of black hair, almost too dark to see in the poor lighting, but he had a root beer in his hand too, with his fingers casually covering the root part as well.

Draco held up his drink in a silent 'cheers' gesture. The stranger next to him smiled somewhat nervously and toasted as well. "I'm Draco Malfoy, what's your name?" He asked, not wasting time wanting to get to know a new group of people. Tonks always told him that the more people you meet the larger your world will grow, and if you allow it, those people will fill it with enrichment and expand his mind as well.

"I'm Harry Potter," the boy said almost too soft for Draco to hear, but he just beamed and turned back to the stage as the first band went up. It was some group he'd never heard of, and they didn't sound all that great either, but Harry seemed entranced and was bobbing his head to the beat.

Draco just relaxed with his soda and watched Daphne drape herself over Blaise. He was a pretty big dark dude, so it was way better than her thrusting herself at strangers. Tonks story filled his mind for a moment, but he knew they wouldn't leave her alone, even for a moment while they were here. Daphne would be safe, and they'd have fun at the concert.

Smoke filled the stage as the main attraction arrived.

The place was packed and overheated. Bodies were meshed together at the front as everyone screamed the lyrics, Draco was one of them, and even from their seats at the very top they were all jumping up and down singing. When 'Green is the Colour' came on the whole crowd seemed to slow down. Some of them were obviously on acid, the drug of choice for Pink Floyd, but even if you weren't on drugs, there was a sense of community within the crowd.

Draco felt like, for this couple hour show, that he belonged.

Once the show ended, Draco noticed Daphne wasn't with them. It was only for an instant though because Harry was in front of him asking for Draco's number. "Maybe we could hang out sometime," he said with a shrug, his big round glasses making him look more innocent than he should have been. Draco nodded though and wrote his number on the back of Harry's hand and then said his goodbyes. Their group wandered out to the van where Daphne was waiting for them. She looked oddly sober, even though her eyes were puffy. Instead of the half-done pony-tail she had earlier her hair was undone and all over the place, way worse than before. She offered a broken smile as we all got back in the car.

"Gilmour has got to be one of the top guitar players of all time," Blaise grinned making Theo nod enthusiastically.

"Yeah and Waters has gotta be the best bassist! I've never heard better and I don't think I ever will!" Theo laughed; looking much more relaxed than on the ride there. He had another mix CD for everyone this one full of Pink Floyd's greatest hits so far.

Pansy just rolled her eyes, "Guys, I have no clue which band member is who, so let's just relax and stop talking about all this nerdy shit."

Draco laughed at that and noticed Daphne staring at her hands in her lap. "You okay?" Draco asked softly, letting the music drown him out to the others. Daphne looked up at him and her eyes filled with tears. He didn't know what to do so he offered his hand quietly, not wanting the others to notice. They wouldn't be discreet, and odds are someone would wind up in jail. Daphne hesitated and then immediately clung to it with both of her hands which were frozen and trembling.

Something happened, but instead of talking about it they just listened to the music and breathed in the air filled with the smell of alcohol and the almost indistinguishable scent of cum.


	2. Mardy Bum

_I've been a bit caught up with school work for Wintermester, but it looks like I only have one more assignment. It's hard getting through the beginning, but I'm hoping to reveal more than the original story ever did. I wanted the original to be short, but since I've gotten so much better at writing novels, I think this one will be much longer to really delve into everything. 15k just wasn't enough._

Marty Bum

(Arctic Monkeys)

Draco ignored the seventh call he'd received from his father that day. When he was a child he would have loved the attention, but right now he knew he was being used. Draco was supposed to be working on an article about the current election cycle, and he knew his father wanted him to mention some key points about certain candidates which would hurt their chances of winning. But right now Draco had no interest in this article. He could write it in his sleep and give his dad the finger while he did it.

That wouldn't be all that big of a feat, since his disgust for his father ran deep. He went from knowing next to nothing about Lucius Malfoy to knowing almost too much. His dad was a mix between scum and lackey. So much for being proud of the Malfoy name, they were just being used by the Riddles anyway.

Draco was at the airport, all he had was his wallet and a small bag full of snacks he had bought at a nearby store. The treats were ridiculously overpriced but since he hadn't thought this through he was going to have to deal with it. Tonks would have scolded him for his 'spending spree.' But if he had spent twenty times that on music she would have been proud. Tonks was such a hard woman to please.

He was going back home to Seattle and felt ready to smell the clean air and dive into Sammamish river with some of his old friends and then hit up the local 7-Eleven for a Slurpee or five. He wanted to go back to the old days and act like the world could wait for him to grow up, but as he watched the clock tick slowly, he knew there was no going back. And as much as nostalgia felt good right now he knew that if he really went back it would be a nightmare to relive it all again.

Draco didn't know what to change, even if he earnestly wanted to make things better, there was nothing that really could change.

Draco's face was solemn as he lifted his chin and watched yet another plane take-off.

The 'maid's quarter of the house' was a fancy term for the part of the house that Tonks lives in, and it's also the only part of the house with the landline. His parents had cell phones and pagers, but since Draco never asked for one, he just used their wire phone if he needed to make a call. But instead of making one, he was waiting. Tonks rounded the corner to the kitchen where Draco was sitting at the bar stool next to the phone up against the kitchen wall. She smiled and ran a hand through her dark purple hair. She had dyed it again last week.

"You still waiting on your new friend? Maybe you should pretend to be busy so you don't seem so desperate when he calls." She pointed out with a smirk and pulled her hair back into a pony-tail. Draco scowled and didn't answer as she rummaged through her fridge for food. She's in charge of their meals and apparently he had been here so long it was time for lunch. "Sloppy Joes sound good?"

Before Tonks showed up Draco had never had fries or Sloppy Joes, instead he had Crab-stuffed Lobster tail, Chicken Tikka Masala, and Baked Halibut Steaks. This was the stuff he could pronounce not counting the foreign dishes when their cook would get 'creative.'

He preferred the simple food items that Tonks would slosh together. It tasted fine and didn't take forever to make. Right then the phone began to ring making Draco jump up from his seat and grab the receiver. He clicked the green button and answered, "Hello this is Draco, who is this?" He asked making Tonks snort at his formality.

"Hey this is Harry." Just like that the hours of waiting by the phone felt worth it.

"What's up?" Draco asked, leaning up against the counter with his arms crossed, managing to balance the phone with his face and shoulder.

"Nothing much, hey, do you want to meet up somewhere? We could check out the local skate park, that's where me and my friends hang out."

Draco had skated by there in passing before but never actually went in. He really only knew how to go forward and turn on his board, but he didn't want to miss this opportunity so he found himself nodding slowly. "Draco?"

"Oh yeah, sorry, I'm cool with that. Does now work? I'll head right over." Draco said quickly, his face heating up because of his silly mistake.

"Sounds good," Harry said quietly and hung up. Draco put the phone back on the wall and turned to see a frustrated looking Tonks.

"Dude, I'm making you lunch right now!" She groaned and then ruffled his hair in annoyance. Draco smiled sheepishly but she just pointed at the kitchen table. "Sit, you're going to be late."

Draco sighed but went ahead and sat down. It wasn't like it takes forever for her to cook, but he really wanted to get there _now_.

Draco hadn't heard from Daphne since the concert, but meeting Harry was the one good thing that happened that night and he really wanted to hang out and talk about music and stuff. He knew they'd hit it off well if he could just get to the skate park.

"You're so desperate," Tonks teased, a giant smile on her face. Draco shook his head quickly but she just continued, "You've got plenty of friends, what does this new guy have to offer that you haven't got already?"

"I don't know yet, we need to meet up today and find out."

Tonks didn't have an answer to that except to put his food down so he could eat quickly and go. Of course the Sloppy Joes were lava in his mouth, but Draco forced it down anyway, fries included before grabbing a glass coke from the fridge and racing out the door.

The skate park was crowded, full of teenagers and college students that Draco had never seen before. He knew their town would have more kids than this the ones he'd seen. It looked like there were three giant swimming pools that were emptied out so the kids could skate. It was amazing watching people do flips or just skate up and down the curves of the walls. He wanted to try too, but he'd probably suck. Draco barely knew what he was doing and only knew this much because he saw some skate boarders on a music video and insisted on teaching himself.

"Hey, looks like you made it." Harry called from a table in the grass off the side. There were two guys sitting there controlling a speaker system and playing music off of a laptop. It was pretty high-tech for a dingy park.

"Yeah," Draco nodded and winced slightly listening to rap blast over the surround sound of the park. "Do you guys have any rock?" He asked making the blond adult nod with a kind smile.

"We can add some rock to the playlist if you like. Are you related to…" He trailed off there and looked at his companion a man with darker hair and a playful yet mischievous smile.

"He looks like he could be her son, are you Tonks's boy?" The dark haired man asked making Draco shake his head slowly.

"I'm her nephew though. And who are you guys?" He questioned somewhat warily.

"Oh I'm Remus and this is Sirius, we used to know Tonks in school." The blond explained in a patient voice, reminding Draco of the father figures in those slice of life movies Tonks loves so much.

"She never mentioned you guys," Draco said quietly and glanced over at Harry who shrugged, obviously not knowing what to do with this situation either.

Harry motioned for Draco to follow and grabbed his board before skating along the sidewalk towards an open grassy area. "You skate well?" He asked making Draco shrug.

"I can do some," He said casually, not wanting to admit how uncool he really was. Harry smiled sheepishly.

"I got this from my cousin who doesn't care to skate. I barely know anything, but my friends are here all the time. They can't teach though. Think you can show me a thing or two?" Harry took off his glasses and set them on the grass nearby which seemed pretty daring for someone who couldn't see without them. He had on pants that were huge on him, but he had what looked like a long piece of string which he used as a makeshift belt. His shirt was just as baggy as the last one Draco had seen, only this one had a few red stains on it. But Draco didn't really care what Harry looked like.

Just like that they spent the whole day practicing moving with the board. Harry actually knew more than Draco, but with the two practicing together away from everyone else they learned a couple new things too like the ollie and how to jump over curbs.

They talked about Guns n Roses and The Rolling Stones. Harry enjoyed just about every band Draco mentioned, and even added a few to the mix that Draco had never heard of like Placebo. "They might be on MTV tonight." Harry said with a shrug making Draco nod knowing he'll have to check it out.

No one else bothered them and for once Draco felt like he had a real connection with this shy kid he met at a concert that weekend. It was something he wanted to hold onto, unlike the almost shallow relationship he had with his other friends.

Once it got dark the lamp posts lit up the skate park and although Draco was tempted to stay longer, he knew Tonks would worry. "Hey I gotta go, but call me when you want to meet up again." Draco said with a smile making Harry nod back.

"Yeah, okay."

When Draco was leaving he was caught by Remus. He had to be early twenties but in that moment he could have been an old man. His eyes were knowing as he looked at Draco, as though trying to read more of the universe without saying a word. Finally he opened his mouth to speak. "Do you know what happened to Tonks' boy?" He asked making Draco look away.

He didn't know Tonks had been pregnant with a boy, somehow that made her story worse. "She lost the baby." That was all he knew so that's all he could say. Remus looked as though he had been punched in the gut. He clutched his chest and nodded, frowning deeply.

"Thanks for letting me know," Remus said softly and left Draco alone at the edge of the park. He skated home quickly, not wanting to think about that kind of thing. It only made him more worried about Daphne. The one who could be repeating Tonks's story.

When Draco got home he called Daphne's house but no one answered. Tonks waited patiently for him to be done and then fed him dinner. He was quiet that night, not really sure what to say. It didn't feel like the right time to bring up the two guys that knew her, and although he had fun with Harry, it felt like there was a forbidding presence in the background.

And yet, that night, he knew he would spend all day tomorrow by the phone too hoping to see Harry again.


	3. Rachael

_WARNING: An abortion clinic is brought up and the characters go. A procedure is not written about, but facts from the 90s about clinics are present so be warned!_

 _T_ _RIGGER WARNING: A few more vague details about Tonks rape are discussed so please skip the underlined section if it is too much for you!  
_

 _I don't want anyone to walk into something they weren't ready for or were able to handle._

Rachael

(She Wants Revenge)

He had a text from Daphne, and for a moment Draco didn't know what to do. He stared at the text as the flight attendant implored him to put his phone away. He nodded absently and flipped the screen off. Daphne wanted to see him now as well as Harry, and for some reason that almost made him even more nervous than just Harry. She was so young when it happened, and so was he.

Draco closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the window, wanting to shut down the memories that threatened to break him. He was still going home, but now he had two people waiting for him and what was the point in going back in the first place? And yet it was too late to have doubts now. Harry and Daphne wanted to see him, and God did he hope it was for separate reasons.

When the flight attendant came by with her cart he ordered a beer and decided this trip was basically payback for him not coming back sooner. He really should have tried to see everyone years ago, but he had such wonderful excuses. Really, he could have been the king of excuses with how well-thought out they were and inarguable.

Draco took a sip of his beer and stared at the clouds, and wondered for a moment what Luna was up to and if maybe his next trip could be to see her instead. That was a much more pleasant thought. And yet he knew it was wishful thinking, some bridges only look intact. He was sure he had burned that one unintentionally.

Draco was halfway through a pack of skittles while skimming through the funnies in the newspaper when the phone rang. He answered abruptly, not even letting it get through the first ring. "Desperate~" Tonks sung happily while working on dishes.

"Hey this is Draco," He said quickly waiting to hear the soft-spoken Harry on the other end, instead he was met with quiet sobbing.

"D-Draco, I'm pregnant." This was Daphne; he knew that, although it was almost impossible to hear her through her sobs. Draco put down the phone and turned to Tonks with wide eyes.

"I don't know what to do." He said making her rush over, a determined look on her face. His friends knew Tonks, and her being the adult in this situation, she would know what to do. She had to know. Within minutes Tonks was out the door with her keys to go pick up Daphne. He didn't know what they were going to do but they were going to try to help.

When Daphne arrived she was shaking but Tonks looked confident. "Luckily we can get you an abortion, you're only fourteen, and he raped you. We can get you taken care of." The 'we' in that scared the shit out of Draco, because this wasn't something he knew and it _hurt_. "After we have the initial consultation they're going to make us wait twenty-four hours. After that you can get the procedure."

Draco knew she could care for the baby if she wanted to. Her parents would want to hide the child or claim it as their own to avoid scandal. Daphne would still miss school though, and she'd show.

"But Tonks, the shootings…" Daphne whimpered, her eyes swollen and body trembling.

Oh yeah, there was always a story on the news about shootings at these clinics. "Don't worry, I'll protect you. We'll go right when they open and leave as soon as possible. You can call with your questions or give them to me and I'll call. We'll be safe about it."

They had to borrow his mother's car in order for all of them to go to the clinic. Daphne was clutching his hand and Draco knew he was pale. This was too serious for him. They were sophomores in high school but they weren't old enough to deal with this kind of thing.

"I was raped when I was thirteen, so I do understand." Tonks said making Daphne look up, her eyes like saucers as she waited for Tonks to continue. "It was at an after party for a concert. He kept feeding me drinks and I kept dumping them when he wasn't looking. I was suspicious. It wasn't until he got tired of trying to trick me that multiple people in the room helped him. It wasn't pretty and I for-sure got pregnant. I was going to keep him, but I was too young, when I tried to give birth the doctor's had to make a choice, me or the baby. What doctors don't tell you is that they'll save the mother before the baby just about every time unless they can do both."

When they arrived there were protestors outside. They were holding posters demanding women to rethink their lives and some even called anyone who came for an abortion a slut or a whore that God couldn't love. The one that Daphne seemed to be focusing on was the one that seemed to scream 'murderer.'

"Let's go," Tonks said quietly and walked quickly into the clinic making them have to run in order to follow.

"Don't taint the children with your sin!" One protestor yelled making Draco duck his head and walk inside.

The clinic itself was fairly clean and the woman behind the counter offered them a kind smile. "Hello dears, what can I help you with today?" She asked, looking directly at Daphne. She hesitated but then came to the counter.

"I was raped, and I can't have a baby right now. Please help me," Daphne whispered making the woman frown and hold out her hand for Daphne's. She took hold of it and the secretary offered her a small smile.

"We're here to help. If this is what you want then we will do everything we can to help you. Do you think you can fill out some paperwork? If you have any questions let me know.. I'll tell our doctor about your case so she'll be ready for you as soon as you're done."

It was surprisingly warm here rather than the cold greeting outside. Draco couldn't help with the papers and didn't really want to. Tonks was there though rubbing Daphne's back and helping her understand what the questions were asking.

When they were pulled back into the room, it wasn't long before the doctor came in. "If you really want an abortion you can have one with parental consent, but I must tell you the other options as well. There is always adoption and the possible giving the child to someone else in your family to raise. Given your situation I don't know how likely it is that your child will be born healthy. Most young pregnancies are met with complications, more so than if a woman in her fifties was to give birth."

Apparently it was highly likely that the baby would be born pre-mature and underweight. They could work with it and do everything they can for both mom and baby if she wanted to give it a shot, but Daphne shook her head. "Please help me."

She had to call her mom to get her to come to the clinic and authorize it and then she'd have to come back tomorrow. Draco didn't envy that phone call.

Once she arrived, Tonks and Draco left. This was the kind of conversation they couldn't be there for. When he got home Draco saw he had a missed call but no voicemail. He sighed and grabbed a coke from the fridge. "Looks like you need a beer," Tonks smiled but he just shook his head and took a long pull from his soda.

The phone rang again but Tonks got to it first. Draco didn't actually move to get it, he was scared it would be Daphne again. He was there for her, and he should be proud of himself for doing that, but it was a lot. It might have been too much.

"Hey dork, it's your friend." Tonks said waving the receiver in his face, Draco almost dropped his coke lunging for the phone.

"Harry?" He asked breathlessly making the familiar voice on the other end laugh.

"What are you doing? You sound so lame right now." Harry could have been Tonks with his humor but Draco didn't care.

"You want to meet up at the park?" Draco asked making Harry agree and hang up. This time Tonks wasn't in the middle of cooking so he was able to get up and race to the park. When he got there the DJ booth was playing Red Hot Chili Peppers over the speakers making Draco smile as he clutched his board and raced towards the grassy area Harry had hung out with him at last time.

When saw Harry, Draco noticed the bruises on his neck and how his glasses were cracked. He didn't say anything though, his day had been traumatic enough already and he didn't think he could handle being needed again.

Today they tried to skate with everyone else in the bowls which of course terrified him, but he didn't want to seem like a wuss. Of course going down into the bowl on the board he immediately wiped out. Harry did fine though and casually skated next to him with a smirk on his face.

"You must have been practicing before I got here," Draco groaned as he rubbed his scratched up elbows.

"Duh, I called you from that payphone," Harry laughed and pointed to a phone booth not too far from them. He wanted to ask why he didn't call from his home, but then he remembered the bruises.

Instead Draco let his ass get schooled for a few hours by the kid who obviously got better. He didn't know this would be his last easy year with Harry before everything would change.


	4. Bound for the Floor

_I don't fully understand why it took me so long to get this chapter out. But here is the start of everything._

Bound For the Floor

(Local H)

Draco got off the plane and walked off the side, not wanting to fight for his luggage. Everyone else can scramble for it while he calls for a cab. It seemed silly to even be here, his home would be empty and although he had a key, he'd need a cab to get there. Odds are he'll just have to rent a vehicle and the idea of spending that kind of money left a bitter feeling in his stomach. Tonks had made him cheap, and although it would help in the long-run, days like this were ones he dreaded.

He wanted to tell someone he was here, have lunch or something, and not be stuck alone. But as unfamiliar people passed by he watched them grab their luggage and leave, as though they had nothing but the task before them. Draco envied them, and at the same time he knew it was better this way.

He never had anything to come home to, what was he thinking? So Draco grabbed his items, took a shuttle to the renting company, and got himself a cheap ride for his stay.

"Do you want to come over to my place? Tonks is making burgers and sweet potato fries. I hear it's good for you, unlike the regular potatoes." Draco said as he attempted a 360 for the billionth time. He failed, of course, and almost lunged off his board with the momentum. Harry smirked and shoved his hands in his pockets with a shrug.

"I don't have anything better to do, so I'm game."

"Do you have to call home or anything?" Draco asked and rubbed at his jeans. He knew his knees were scabbed up, but wearing knee-pads would be humiliating.

"No." His answer was so abrupt that it caught Draco off guard. He couldn't question him though because Harry was already walking over to the DJ table. "I'm going to say bye to Sirius before I go."

Draco hung back, he hated the way they looked at him over there. Usually there was pity and curiosity. It made him think about Tonks and the after-party she had gone to. He shivered and picked up his board. He didn't want to think about that right now.

Harry was awkward around Tonks. He didn't seem to know what to do with her daffodil yellow hair or how excited and loud she was when he talked. Draco could already see himself distancing himself from her. "Food will be ready in fifteen, until then go play games or blast some music, don't let me bore you!" Tonks beamed and left them to their devices.

Draco got them cokes and immediately dashed to his room. Harry seemed grateful to follow, although also wary as he shut the door behind him. Draco never thought much of his room. He had a desk with a desk top he rarely used, as well as a bookshelf full of Spiderman comics and books he actually enjoyed by authors like Steinbeck and Pratchett. He had a full size bed with light blue sheets and a dresser full of clothes. His closet also had clothes and Magic the Gathering cards, not that his friends would ever play with him. But Harry looked around the room with wide eyes, running his fingers over the books as though they were precious. Draco knew Harry must have a terrible home life, but he couldn't bring himself to ask about it.

"I like to think this is how my room would have looked if my parents were still alive," Harry said softly. Draco didn't respond, he really didn't know what to say. For all he cared his parents were dead too, he never saw them anyway, but it must be different if they were gone, in a place they can never come back from. Harry's big green eyes looked at Draco, desperately pleading for something, but because Draco didn't know what to say or do, he stood there in silence until Harry finally shook his head. "It's no big deal. So why do you like Spiderman?"

Draco immediately went into the origin story and how intelligent Spiderman was but also how he had powers too. Harry seemed to soak it up, but it also seemed like he was looking for a distraction. When food was ready Draco got it for them and when he came back Harry was laying on his bed passed out. He didn't wake him. Instead he went through his CDs which were stashed under his bed in case his parents ever cared enough to come into his room. His CD player was there too. So while Harry slept Draco played his favorite Nirvana CD and thought about Daphne and Harry.

They were just kids, but even in the dim lighting of the room Draco could still see the bruises just under his large sweater. Harry was abused and Daphne was raped. They were just fucking kids. What the fuck.

When Harry woke up Draco taught him the basics of Magic while they ate. It was a card game where you had to collect packs to help make your deck. Draco had to have over a thousand cards, but that was pretty small compared to the other kids at the comic shop.

"You're so cool." Harry laughed and ran a hand through his floppy hair. Draco smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"You could be too. We could play together at the tournaments if you get good."

Harry nodded absently, but his eyes grew hazy letting Draco know he said something he shouldn't have. But after a while the tension seemed to pass. Harry talked to him about how awesome the food was, but also how he wished Sirius could adopt him. He went on about the skate park and how great of an escape it was. He talked so much that Draco had to get him a coke since his voice started going out. Draco just listened but was grateful for something less heavy.

"If Sirius could adopt me, I'd be just like you!" Harry grinned, his eyes bright with excitement. Draco nodded with a soft smile, grateful for the hope in his friend's face.

"That'd be awesome." He wanted to hold onto this moment when they could just be guys and talk about how awesome life would be if the perfect Disney thing happened. Draco didn't know this would be their only conversation like this.

Harry didn't call for a while, and although Draco didn't mind eating candy and reading by the phone all day, Tonks did. "Get your lazy ass outside and do something. This is getting pathetic." Tonks scowled making Draco sigh and grab his board. Harry must have been caught up with something, it had been two weeks since they last hung out and Draco was on edge.

But getting in some practice at the park could take his mind off things. Maybe Draco could even learn a couple new moves to show off next time they hung out. When he got there, it took him a second to recognize the guy by the DJ both. Harry had contacts and he was wearing a band t-shirt that actually fit him. His jeans were loose on his hips but had no holes or stains. He looked like a normal teenager. Another thing Draco noticed was the lack of bruises.

"Hey Draco, you finally decide to come out and play?" Harry asked with a confident smirk. It was a bit of a twist from what he was used to but Draco played along.

"Yeah I finally escaped the house," He said with a laugh knowing he was lying. It was much more like he was forced to stop waiting on Harry.

"Good, so now we can have some real fun." Harry nodded, his eyes dark as he hopped on his board and skated away. Draco quickly went after him on his own board but Harry was much faster than he remembered. "We're going by 7-eleven." He called out over his shoulder as Draco kicked at the concrete trying to pick up speed.

The gas station wasn't far but by the time they stopped Draco was gasping for breath. Harry ignored him though and headed inside heading straight for the Slurpee machine. Draco quickly followed suit and grabbed his own cup. This is the first time they did anything that cost money, and he was glad he brought his wallet out of habit.

Draco got himself a coke and blue raspberry slush while Harry mixed all the flavors together. "This is called a suicide." Harry commented, but he didn't sound like he was joking. When they got to the register Harry slipped away towards the bathroom. It felt a little off but Draco didn't mind paying. So he bought the drinks and headed outside with them and his board feeling like he had the best balance ever for being able to carry everything.

He sat on his board outside and started drinking his, watching the clouds roll passed slowly. Cars were on the road but for the most part it seemed like the whole world was lazy. Wind blew at the dandelions growing between the cracks in the concrete, and it felt like they had nothing but time. When Harry finally came out he had a pack in his hand, before Draco could ask Harry pulled out a cigarette and offered one to Draco.

"I heard these kill you," Harry said with a shrug making Draco nod.

"I think I've heard that too." Despite his stomach twisting, Draco took the cigarette and allowed Harry to light it up for him. They sat on their boards drinking their slushes and smoking a cigarette each. It was his first time. They both choked on the first inhale making them share an embarrassed laugh, but Harry was determined to keep going. Draco let his slowly burn itself out between his fingers.

"I get to see Sirius on the weekends now," Harry commented making Draco glance over at him, not sure what to say. "I'm glad something is finally going right. He bought this all for me. I might even have a decent future now." His words were hopeful, but his tone sounded dead.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Draco asked slowly, not sure if he was crossing a line he didn't know about.

"Have you ever heard of a suicide pact?" Harry interrupted.

"No."

"Oh."

They hung out there until their drinks were gone. Draco never asked Harry how he managed to get the pack since they're underage, and he never asked about the obsession with suicide either. Instead they went back and skated for a while, not saying a word.


	5. Machinehead

_Regardless of your gender, religion, ethnicity, and beliefs I will always fight for your rights. Please know you are not alone._

Machinehead

(Bush)

Draco was sitting at his table at Waffle House watching the servers give him the stink eye for occupying a table for almost thirty minutes without ordering more than a cup of coffee. He was waiting for Daphne and of course she was late. He would have ordered food but it only would have given the large white woman with the forming mustache an excuse to shove him out sooner. Instead he pretended to peruse the menu for the hundredth time.

She seemed happy over text to hear that he would be able to meet with her. She even asked if he could hang out with her and her sister later that night at the local club. The club itself was new, some disco remake kind of thing. He would be surprised if it lasted the year. This wasn't the kind of town that could handle silly things like discos and bars. They were a conservative farming community. Apparently.

"Sorry I'm late" Daphne smiled, her eyes much more guarded than he remembered and her smile was tight. He smiled back, just as awkwardly and handed her the menu he had. "That's fine, I know what I'm ordering." Sure enough she ordered a coke and a stack of waffles while Draco was stuck trying to remember how to order the sampler he'd been eyeing since he got here.

"What did you want to see me about?" Draco asked warily, watching her stare out the window looking much softer than when she first walked in. She was wearing a pretty red blouse, it was dark red similar to the color of blood and her skirt was black. He didn't see them but he heard the click of her heels when she came in. Daphne looked dangerous, much more so than she had in high school.

"My parents and yours and preparing to try to set you up with Astoria, and while I object, Astoria thinks it'd be a lovely idea. But she is in her twenties now and fear she'll never get married. Not with that stick up her ass, if you ask me." Daphne said quickly just as the waitress set down her coke. She grabbed the straw and immediately downed most of it.

Draco didn't know what to say so he remained quiet and watched her. She had strawberry blond hair pulled back into a tight pony-tail but her hair was always unmanageable so he could see tufts of orange trying to come out despite the product she obviously used. Her make-up was soft but still defined, obviously used to make her lips and eyes stand out more but she was always fairly beautiful so it wasn't to enhance what she didn't already have.

"Don't you fall in love with _me_ Draco Malfoy. I know what kind of a mess you leave behind," She teased catching Draco off guard. He couldn't really argue with her so instead he laughed and nodded.

"I know it all too well."

Harry could be found smoking a cigarette every time Draco showed up to the skate park. By now school had started up again so he had to race to get there with his backpack still in tow once it let out. Harry would always scoff at him but soon they'd be riding together to 7-eleven enjoying a cold Slurpee in the quiet of the parking lot. It was their daily routine.

"You know, I really love Nirvana. They speak to me unlike all this mainstream shit." Harry commented, and it was the first time Draco could remember hearing him cuss. He nodded and smelled the secondhand smoke as the small cloud twisted and swirled in the breeze.

Harry was thin, almost dangerously, but his pale skin still had strength to it that Draco couldn't describe. "I love the idea that stupidity is contagious." He continued making Draco snort.

"You can't say you love the band and then quote one of their most popular lines." He argued making Harry glower and then think about it harder.

"Okay, well my favorite song is actually 'Underneath the Bridge.'" That one Draco wasn't even sure he'd heard of. So he just shrugged and went back to looking at the smoke coming from Harry's dwindling cigarette.

"I think I'm going to introduce you to my friends tomorrow."

"You have friends?"

"Yeah and I hang out with them way more than you hang out with yours." Harry teased but it wasn't a lie. Draco hadn't even seen Daphne since she had the abortion. Apparently it was only a couple of pills but that doesn't make it any easier.

"Okay I'll meet them then." Draco nodded and thought about how his birthday was next week. Harry never talked about his so he was sure that their friendship didn't involve things like celebrating stupid things like becoming older. Harry actually seemed more excited about ending it than allowing life to continue on. It was something Draco was sure he'd have to have a real conversation about one day. Not today.

"Good, in the meantime find out what your people are doing. You could even bring them all tomorrow. We'll make a party of it." Harry nodded and stood up. It was a fluid motion, almost too graceful for his gangly limbs, but Harry had a habit of being more than he seemed.

Draco didn't respond and just watched Harry leave him behind.

Pansy had two jobs now, her first job didn't like her working many hours while in school so she got a second job, and yet somehow she still had time to show up to the park. Draco had a feeling she was ditching school to work. Her mom became an alcoholic after they lost their fortune. He was pretty sure Pansy's dad split. But they didn't talk about real shit like that. Instead Pansy was in charge of beer.

Theo and Blaise were always cool to hang out, they had the car after all, and Daphne was actually willing to come out and play. Draco wasn't going to push but she insisted she was fine. Harry was doing flips in the bowl and Remus was in charge of the DJ station where he was blasting Bush and the Toadies.

Pansy was already chatting with a tall blond that Draco had never met before; there were more than a few redheads as well as a woman with bushy brown hair. "There're a lot of new faces for me too." A quiet voice mused from beside him. Draco turned to see a shorter girl about his age. She was wearing earrings which changed colors as she moved. Her fingers were covered in several different rings that were all different from each other. Her eyes were big and round, but also seemed to look right through him. Her skin was white and her lips seemed frozen in a small yet kind smile.

"Are you one of Harry's friends?" Draco asked making her shake her head.

"Harry is someone I'm quite fond of, but I don't think we could ever truly be friends. I care too much for him, you see, and he cares too little." Her words were like an airy riddle, and yet Draco could relate.

"I guess you could say the same for me." Draco laughed but it was bitter. Someone else seems to have noticed Harry's new attitude. "Do you think we could be friends one day?" He asked on a whim.

"Oh most definitely, I'm sure. My name is Luna, and I presume you're Draco?" She asked taking him back slightly. Draco nodded but before he could say anything else Harry had an arm draped around his shoulder.

"I love the chick that brought drinks, you should invite her to hang out with us more often." Harry said and dragged Draco away towards Pansy who was full on flirting with the blond athlete.

"Yeah Pansy does that," Draco said dryly, but by the time he glanced back Luna was gone. The park was dark by now with only the lamp posts lighting the place up.

"Cedric this is Draco, and Draco those two over there are Fred and George. The shorter one somewhere is Ron and that girl over there is Hermione." Harry went through this all so quickly Draco knew he wouldn't remember any of this. But he also didn't think Harry actually wanted him to either.

It went on like this, Harry kept talking like if he would die if he stopped. After an hour, Draco considered the possibility of it being true. He was laughing with a couple of redheads about something that Draco couldn't quite hear. Regardless this was taking too much time. It was late and he didn't want to be here anymore. Something about this seemed forced.

After another thirty minutes of watching everyone else Draco left the crowd to go practice skating on his own. He might as well use his board while he was there. He still wasn't any good, but whenever he could do a hard flip he would. It wasn't as easy as Harry made it seem, and yet he thought he was starting to get the hang of it.

"You're not very good, but you seem to enjoy it." Luna pointed out, sitting on a bench across from where he was in the bowl.

"Thanks a lot," Draco shot back with a scowl. She shrugged, her permanent smile seemed to be mocking him.

"I don't see many people who do this because they find joy in it. It seems like many prefer to show-off or exaggerate their talents rather than live in the moment and enjoy the sport."

It was the most he'd heard her say tonight, and it made him flush from embarrassment. It was probably every teenager's dream to be called different, although she used way more words than necessary. "You're pretty genuine yourself." Draco called out as he managed to wipeout doing a simple ollie.

Draco was on his face at the bottom of the bowl and decided he should probably just lay there while his skateboard idly rolled away. He sighed and figured dying of embarrassment was better than getting up to check the damage.

"I guess Draco was too busy epic-failing in the bowl to come hang out with us," Harry called out loudly with a cackle. Draco sighed but when he looked up Luna was offering her hand to him.

"You've got some blood on your face, but it makes you look very 'devil-may-care.'" She assured him making Draco sigh, but his chest felt hollow watching Harry with his back to them holding up two beers and talking loudly with the crowd. He was nothing like the shy kid with glasses that he started hanging out with weeks back.


	6. Baby Fratelli

Baby Fratelli  
(The Fratellis)

It was a trap. The purple suit he had with a white undershirt and matching shoes, they were there to give him a look of purpose, like he had done this a million times. It wasn't his first time in a club, let alone a disco one, but it was the first time he had to try to convince a desperate twenty-something that he was not meant for her.

Astoria has blond hair, much more blond than her sister, and big blue eyes. Her face is small and features pointed, but her smile was contagious. He couldn't quite find a way to politely reject her when she asked him to dance. It wasn't like she was good either. Her moves were obvious mimics of movies she'd seen, and Astoria clearly had no idea how to dance the disco.

Draco knew a lot more than she did, but not well enough to execute it properly. They wound up an awkward mess in the middle of the mostly deserted dance floor. He knew this place wouldn't be popular here, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Daphne talking with Theo and Blaise. Somehow they weren't the target of Astoria's misplaced affection, even though they were of the same standing as him.

"I'm tired, do you mind getting me a drink?" Astoria asked through small huffs and puffs. Draco nodded and turned to the bar, but wasn't actually sure what to get. When he turned back to ask, she was on her way to the bathroom.

"Hey Daphne, what does your sister drink?" Within moments Daphne was talking to the bartender ordering something extremely fruity. Draco raised a brow but she just shrugged her shoulders and smirked.

"She's a kid. What'd you expect?" Of course when they're nearing their thirties it makes sense that someone so young would be a kid. He smirked and glanced at her clear drink. She had a glass of vodka, it looked like.

"So where did you go wrong when you raised her?" Draco laughed making Daphne choke up as well. She obviously wasn't expecting the joke. It was then that Astoria came back. Her face was flushed but it wasn't from the dancing. Draco's smile faded, he recognized the expression on her face. Tears filled her eyes and she ran out. Draco just sighed and sat down at the bar. He wasn't in love with her, and he had no interest. Chasing after her should go to Daphne, her sister, someone who could actually console her without making the situation worse.

Why was love always so complicated?

It was a little after midnight on a Tuesday night, and although Draco knew he would be skinned alive when he got home, he watched Harry pop off the lid of his Slurpee and let the leftovers slide into his mouth from the bottom of the cup. He let out a heavy sigh when they were met with a wet plop sound. Apparently the leftovers had become a chunk which just-so-happened to hit him in the face when he tried to eat the rest. Harry slowly put the cup down, making his face follow suit so that the icy flavored block of slush could fall back down into the cup and off of his mouth and nose.

Draco grinned, it was a shit-eating-grin and Harry did not seem to appreciate it. Draco could have gotten up and grabbed his friend a napkin, but it was much more fun watching him wipe the purple and green liquid off of his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Bastard," Harry scoffed but his tone was joking and Draco didn't take offense.

"So I think I can get my hands on some vodka next weekend," Harry said casually, ending their moment of childishness.

"What's up with the hard stuff? We've only had a couple beers so far." Draco felt like a wuss for saying it, but it really did seem like Harry was trying to get them into the adult world _right now_ and they were barely in high school at this point. The beginning of their sophomore year was nothing.

"Yeah but I heard alcohol can kill you." Harry commented, making Draco think of an earlier conversation.

"Yeah, I heard that too, but only for alcoholics and if you drink and drive." Draco pointed out. Harry was silent, which was too quiet for him. He might try to become an alcoholic just so he can die.

"Cigarettes might be faster." Harry shrugged and pulled out a pack from his pocket before lighting it up. His Slurpee was left abandoned on the sidewalk next to them. Draco stared at a lone fly sitting on the lip of the green cup rather than watch his best friend try to slowly kill himself.

He wanted to ask why Harry had an obsession with killing himself, but it felt like a dangerous path to take. Instead he inhaled deeply and looked up at the sky. Only a few stars were visible but it was enough to make him feel cold and comforted at the same time.

"Do you know any constellations?" Draco asked making Harry scoff but say nothing. It was probably stupid to ask. Draco pulled out his bag and started taking out his homework for school. It was late and he didn't want his grades to drop. Chemistry was killing him, and all these late nights were affecting his performance.

"You're such a nerd." But that's all Harry ever said as he lit up another cigarette. The smell of stale tobacco and fruit filled the air, while the dim light from the gas station was just enough that Draco could work on his homework problems.

They sat in silence for another hour and then Harry stood up, grabbed his board, and took off without a word. Draco watched him until he was no longer visible and then did the same.

"Draco, you look pale. Are you alright?" Tonks asked, it was the last day of school and she had made him a lunch. It seemed silly since it's only a half day anyway, but she probably knew he wouldn't be coming straight home.

"I'm fine," He sighed knowing he would see Harry's smug face at the skate park as he toted around his ever present bottle of vodka. True to his word he had managed to get ahold of some, and now he couldn't seem to get enough.

"Okay then," Tonks didn't fight him, and somehow her young and vibrant face looked so much older even with her sparkly silver hair.

When he got to school he took his last two finals with no problem. Even though he had been sleep deprived most of this semester, he still managed to come out with a perfect GPA. Not like he had anyone but Tonks to be excited with him. The skate park was full when he arrived, but within moments he noticed familiar blond hair and rushed toward it.

Sure enough, Luna was reading a book on a hill off to the side of the park. Her face almost pressed up against the pages. "Wouldn't it be easier to see the words if you lifted your head up?" Draco asked, half-serious and half-joking.

"But then I wouldn't be able to smell it," Luna responded with the patience of a kindergarten teacher. Before he could question her she was already absorbed again. But this time he looked at the title of the book, _This Side of Paradise_ by F. Scott Fitzgerald. He knew the writer, almost everyone had to read his book _The Great Gatsby_ this year, but that book in particular he knew nothing about. Just watching Luna read it so intently made him want to read it too. "You can borrow it after I'm done if you like." She said absently making him nod, knowing she wouldn't see it.

"I'd like that."

When Draco turned around he saw a ginger girl giving Harry a bag of white pills. He gave her a smirk and a wink and she quickly danced away blushing. He wanted to ask what those were, and yet Harry had them in his pocket while he rushed over. A giant smile was on his face and for once it looked genuine.

"Hey want to ditch these lame-o's and get Slurpees?" He asked, practically bouncing with every word. Draco nodded, feeling something in his chest release, like a tight ball has been unwound and he could breathe again.

They skated with their bags thumping against their backs as they kicked off the ground. It wasn't even a mile from the skate park, and they were soon sitting on their asses drinking their suicides and enjoying themselves. "I could do this every day!" Harry laughed, his eyes shining like sawdust.

"Well we _can_ because its summer vacation." It didn't feel real saying it aloud, but soon Tonks won't give a shit how late he stays out. After all, he's a junior now. He's almost an adult.

"That's right," Harry said, breathing out slowly, so slow that Draco thought for a second he had a cigarette.

"Are you busy or something?" Draco asked hesitantly. It felt like this one decent moment they were having was about to end abruptly. He could feel Harry's inner drama filling the tension in the air. He's always seemed free, whenever Draco's shown up at the park Harry was usually there too without a care in the world.

"No man, I just think I might try to hook up with someone. I've got my eye on a specific person." Harry said with a shrug. It was a little off that he wouldn't mention her by name but Harry's always been private.

"Oh cool, good luck," Draco shrugged; trying to make it seem like the privacy didn't bug him.

"Yeah."

At that moment Draco wished he had stayed behind with Luna instead of always trailing after Harry, but it seemed impossible for him.


	7. Shimmer

Shimmer

(Fuel)

Daphne made the arrangements to end the engagement negotiations. Draco could have helped but he was currently avoiding his father over an article he had no intention of writing. It felt like he was being a wimp, but honestly he was never part of this to begin with. They never asked him, and she got her hopes up.

But he still felt like an asshole for making Daphne deal with it. Draco's phone buzzed and when he saw who it was his chest tightened. Just a text, but the person who sent it was what caught him off-guard. Apparently Harry really did want to see him.

 _I'm at the Suites Inn at the edge of town, room 1204. It will be unlocked._

It was confident and expectant, just like Draco remembered him. Something about the bruises disappearing and the constantly present cigarettes and alcohol really changed him. Draco wasn't sure he wanted to see him. But he was back in town and there wasn't anything else to do.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. He flipped through his contacts until he got to Luna. His thumb hovered over her name, hesitating, but really, who else would he call?

It was always her.

The skate park was empty except for a lone girl reading on a hill overseeing the empty bowl. Luna was reading in the dead of night with a flashlight held over the book using her shoulder and head to keep it there. It looked funny, but she never seemed like the self-conscious type.

The lights were still on from the lamp posts, but it was dim and orange, definitely not something to read with. "So why are you reading that book?" Draco asked, unable to think of anything more elegant to say. She didn't answer for a while, seemingly reading to the end of the page first. Once she was 'done' she placed a bookmark between the pages, a receipt from the looks of it, and put her large doe-like eyes on him.

With her head up and the flashlight on her lap now, he could see she had bottle cap earrings and a necklace made of what appeared to be weeds. He figured it would be better not to question it. "I had a peculiar sense that this book would help me answer a question. I believe I was right." She answered airily and then smiled at him. "So what are you doing here at four in the morning on a Tuesday?"

He almost responded that she should ask Harry that, but instead he shrugged his shoulders and sat down next to her. "Slurpees just taste better late at night."

"I agree," She nodded making his eyes widen. She seemed to understand him more than he knew himself. His board was on the ground next to them and since it was summer he didn't care what time he came home. Tonks was becoming less and less strict about that.

Harry ditched him half an hour ago and Draco was kind of glad that he didn't rush to get home. It meant he got to see her for once. Soon enough her flashlight was back in its place as she continued to read. It looked like she would finish it tonight.

"Could you be my friend?" She asked, and it felt familiar, as though she had asked him this before. Maybe it was Draco recalling himself when he first met Harry.

"Of course," Draco smiled with a shrug making Luna sigh and shut her book abruptly.

"I was worried you'd say that. My father is expecting me at five this morning so I'll take my leave." He stayed in his seat, somewhat stunned by her response, but as he watched her back as she left, Luna held her hand out, not bothering to look at him. "Would you like to come with me?"

Without any hesitation Draco took her hand and walked her home.

He didn't meet her father that night (or rather, early morning), but for once he didn't feel left behind when he went home.

A cold and clammy hand laid in his own, her fingers nimbly pressed against his. Draco wanted to say something but Luna was concentrating very hard on her reading and he had already interrupted her countless times. There will be a point when she'll probably murder him for it. Knowing her, if she was a suspect she'd be so airy and indirect that they'd abandon the investigation against her and never put Luna behind bars.

Not like she'd actually kill him.

Well, she probably wouldn't.

Maybe.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Luna asked as though she didn't still have her nose practically against the pages of her book.

"Probably a politician like my father," Draco answered easily.

"How plastic," Luna sighed, seemingly disappointed.

He didn't know how he was 'plastic' or why she would choose that word at all. It was a little off, even for her, but for some reason Draco felt sick in his stomach for disappointing his newfound friend. "Well what do _you_ want to be then?" Draco snapped, unable to hide his irritation.

"I want to be an editor for a magazine featuring rare and exotic creatures." Luna answered as though this was obvious. It was then that Draco noticed she was wearing a ring with a patch of fuzz where the gem would typically be. It took him a moment to realize it wasn't fuzz but a small patch of grass. She had a ring with a place for dirt and grass to grow. What the hell.

"Oh," Draco said, not really having a response to something like that. It wasn't exactly 'plastic.' Within moments her book was shut and she was smiling again.

"'I know myself," he cried. "But that is all."'" Luna declared and stood from her place on their hill. It was theirs at this point with how often they both found themselves at this same spot.

"What was that?"

"I just spoiled the ending of the book for you."

"Is there a point to reading it now?"

"Don't you want to discover why that is all you can truly know?" Her question was so sincere that Draco found himself taken back. She held out the book to him and without much thought he took hold of it himself.

A distinct laugh echoed from nearby making Draco groan inwardly. Harry was here. He didn't know exactly when it started that seeing Harry became something to hate rather than look forward to. "Didn't know you had a thing for Loony," Harry called out from the bowl, his skateboard propped up by his side before he dipped into the bowl.

"He's changed so much, but unlike Amory, I don't believe Harry knows himself at all," Luna seemed distant as she spoke, as though she was on a completely different plane from any other junior high student he knew.

"You're reading all the time now!" Harry groaned as he tossed his empty beer can across the lot. Draco was getting agitated. He couldn't understand how Luna could communicate while reading this book. It was written decades ago and back then the writers used all these crazy words he had to keep looking up the meanings of. Somehow she understood the words, the text, and was still able to communicate while absorbing the story.

"I like this book," Draco shrugged and watched Harry's eyes narrow.

"I think you just like _her_."

Draco shrugged again, not sure if he did or not but he definitely wouldn't divulge that info with Harry of all people.

Just when Harry opened his mouth to speak Daphne came running up to them, her mascara dripping down her face as she sobbed loudly. It was his first time seeing her cry. "There was a wreck! They're dead! They're all dead!"

Sirius, Cedric, Millicent, Collin, and Dean died in a car wreck. The worst part about the crash was that they were all _sober_. Sirius, the adult, was driving and crashed into a wall outside of Daphne's home. She took a video of the horror, because apparently everyone else needed to see it too. The worst part of seeing the crumpled vehicle was the silence of the stereo. The radio died when the car crashed, so they died with no sound. That was the worst kind of death imaginable.

"I think, when the world ends, it'll be silent too," Harry whispered which was oddly deep for him. So when the bonfire was made in an abandoned field outside of town, everyone showed up, all ten of them. The ones that were still living, the ones that fat chose to keep alive for a little while longer.

They burned the things that made their friends complete when they were alive. Old albums, letters from loved ones, ragged over-worn t-shirts, and their skateboards. It was burned to keep them alive. Someone said it was a Viking tradition, and someone else retorted it would be _their_ tradition.

Draco didn't know what to do; after all, he didn't belong here. He knew none of these people personally, and through all the sobs and screams of the mourning teens, he felt oddly silent.

That's when Luna walked up to him, and took his hand in her own. "I didn't know them well either, and we had spoken for years."

"Cedric was the hero, Dean the silent type who knew everything, Millicent the bullied, Colin was an annoying fanboy who just wanted in, and Sirius was my best friend's godfather. I didn't know them at all, just one trait people in my mind until they died. It's kind of sad isn't it?" Draco spat and crossed his arms, staring at the bonfire full of broken guitars and skateboards with the occasional CD and letter. Most of it was already ashes now, just a few forms still seen.

"Actually it's quite normal. How terribly sad is that?" she responded, making him smile bitterly before finally uncrossing his arms and rubbing the goosebumps along his flesh.

"If you died... I would have called you the weird one."

"You would have been the sad one."

They stood in silence for a while and were only broken apart when Harry came over. He looked a bit pissed off but also incredibly depressed. He knew the people who died, unlike Luna and Draco, so he was one of the few who had a right to be upset. It's kind of funny... Draco had never really had the right to feel anything.

"I was looking for you," Harry glowered, looking pissed but Draco couldn't think of a reason why so he just raised his eyebrows at the man before him in his red t-shirt and ripped jeans.

"I've been here the entire time, ever since you left me to talk to your friends. I haven't gone anywhere." He explained blandly, but this didn't seem to help his case as his best friend glowered. Grabbing hold of Draco's hand, he was led away to one of the darker areas in the field, which made it hard to see Harry's face but he doesn't really mind too much. The guy was looking pretty pissed earlier anyway.

"I'm going to tell you a secret but if I hear anyone talking about it then I will find you and slice you to pieces, you got it?" Harry demanded making Draco grunt in response, not liking this Harry one bit.

"I-I was supposed to be with them... in the car. But I got a bad feeling and left, besides, Cedric... I kind of liked him, and he was sitting next to me and we were too close together in the back so I volunteered to grab my board and let them drive off without me to give them more room and to try to figure out what the hell was wrong with me."

Draco stared, unable to get it. It took him a minute to understand exactly what Harry must mean by that but... Harry gay? Harry gay for Cedric Diggory? The same guy who just died after Harry got out of the car? No. No… that can't be true.

Because things like that just don't happen, that's just too cruel to be anything other than a dark poem or someone's sick and twisted little idea. That shit doesn't happen in real life. No… real life was Slurpees in the parking lot of 7-11 and arguing with the DJ at the nearest skate park.

When they got back to the bonfire, Pansy was sobbing and Luna was nowhere to be found. It didn't matter, though, because at that moment Draco noticed some deep bruises that could barely be seen under the red shirt Harry was wearing. Bruises shouldn't be that dark... that noticeable.

But Draco didn't get any answers.


	8. Wasting My Time

_Enjoy guys! I've got a friend helping me to push these chapters out! It's been a while since I could sit down and really edit them though so be patient with small errors, I'll be able to go back through them soon hopefully!_

Wasting My Time

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He wasn't going to the hotel room. It was more like a motel, but still. Draco had his pride and he didn't like how expectant Harry was that he'd give in and show up. The door would be unlocked, yeah, like he knew exactly when he was coming. It made him so mad he wanted to go back home, but there was Luna. She was still a thing in his life.

She didn't pick up when he called, but he didn't really expect her to either. She was busy with her monthly magazine on the unknown in this world. He had a few subscriptions, one for each of his houses. That made him sound like a rich prat, he probably was, but it was nice to have multiple copies he could read wherever he went.

She had an office nearby though; he wasn't sure if he was lucky enough to catch her but trying seemed more productive than heading back empty handed. He had a feeling Daphne just missed him and that's why she asked him to come back, it was a wasted trip if she only wanted him to reject her sister.

He drove his rental to the office at the edge of town and although he arrived in ten minutes, Draco spent half an hour watching the clock in the rental car flip through the minutes ever so slowly, each second was thoroughly accounted for. At thirty-eight minutes total Draco finally got out of the car and went into the small grey building with fifteen different offices within it. Luna's was the last one on the left.

He knocked on the door, so softly he doubted she would hear it, and yet within moments she was there. Her long flowing white-blond hair was pulled back into a bun and her eyes seemed to shimmer with the knowledge of why he was here. "Hello again," She smiled, and although it was genuine he couldn't help giving her a strained smile in return.

She moved out of the way allowing him to enter her strange office. The walls were covered in drawings of beasts he'd never seen, some he was sure didn't exist. She seemed to be mixing folklore with reality with some of the winged fish she had just beside her desk. Her desktop was glowing with a word document there covered in words, the words that Draco couldn't seem to find just days ago.

"I'm back," Draco said limply but she just shook her head.

"No you're not. You could never stay here." She was right, but that didn't make him appreciate her honesty.

"I know that, but I meant that I'm back for now and I wanted to see you," He retorted quickly his eyes somewhat burning from the desire to take off her white peasant clothes and kiss her collarbone. He wanted to do things to her, the things he used to, and make her give that purring sigh of satisfaction he used to crave.

Instead he stayed in his chair as she smiled at him as though she already knew his thoughts and intentions. She had examined them thoroughly and deemed them amusing and nothing more.

"You're going to see Harry." Draco was sure she meant this to be a question, but it was said with such confidence that he knew it wasn't, not really.

"N-no… or at least I don't intend to." Somehow she seemed to bring out his honesty. Draco could do without that at the moment.

"I know, but you will." Her smile was warmer this time, but her eyes seemed sad.

This was the reason they couldn't work, because after all these years Draco knew he was going to see Harry, and yet Luna was never enough to stop him.

Harry had passed out drunk, and so Draco was stuck bringing him back to his place. Tonks was nowhere to be seen and so he let his 'friend' sleep in his bed. He knew enough about drinking that he had a glass of water and a few aspirins lying on the nightstand next to Harry for when he woke up. This was all from late night dramas that Tonks enjoyed watching though.

It felt like years ago that he last spent time with her watching a corny movie or show and laughing about nothing. She seemed to have disappeared from his life.

Tonks was a part of his life that he didn't want to go away just yet.

While Harry slept the alcohol off, Draco went in search of her. It didn't take long; she was out in the garden reading a book while surrounded by his mother's rose bushes.

"I saw you reading this the other day so I wanted to read it too," Tonks smiled, her face a bit pale and thin.

"Are you alright? You've been looking sick lately," Draco asked quietly. Her hair was fully gray, no sparkles or sheen to it. It was very un-Tonks-like.

"Are you alright? You've been looking depressed and lonely lately," She countered with a knowing smile. He scoffed but she had a point. "Don't worry about it, Draco. I got this, and you've got this too. But I will tell you this. I don't approve of Harry. I really, really, don't. Please take a closer look at your friends for me."

He couldn't respond to that, because it was already too late.

"Do you want to have a movie date later? Five in the morning seems a little early for movies, but maybe later tonight we could watch some goofy old movies and have zebra popcorn and cokes?"

"Let's do it!"

The quiet of the room contrasted with the chirping birds outside as sun streamed in through cracks in the blinds. It felt oddly peaceful even with the deaths that had occurred just yesterday. It still felt like someone else's life, and even as the warmth of the sun burned his face through the glass, he couldn't tell if this was real or not.

Draco glanced over at Harry and was surprised to see his green eyes open, staring at the ceiling. "Are you in love with Luna Lovegood?" Harry choked out. Draco stared at him, and for some reason he felt disgusted as he looked at his friend's crusted eyes and pale skin. Even with the bruises outlined so clearly in the light, Draco had no pity.

"I might be. We're guys right? We're supposed to find a girl we like at this age." Draco shrugged making Harry's eyes widened. There was pain there but Draco couldn't understand why.

"Did you forget..?"

"Forget what?"

"Never mind," Harry sighed and closed his eyes again.

And just like that Draco felt like he fucked up, again.

"You know, Placebo is actually pretty decent." Tonks amended, holding up one of their albums. Draco grinned at her, glad she actually took the time to look into one of his bands.

"Even though it's not Queen or the Beatles," Draco teased making her chuck the CD case at his face. He only barely managed to dodge it making them break into laughter as they crashed on the couch.

"I'm surprised you're not into more grunge and depressing crap. I know Harry is super into Nine Inch Nails and Tool. Shouldn't you be going through your emo phase too?" Tonks asked, tucking a bright blue strand of hair behind her ear.

"I listen to The Smiths on occasion, same with The Cure," Draco allowed with a smile, unable to help relaxing into the cushions. It'd been forever since he had last done this. They were watching some girly show about women swooning over bad men. Tonks ate this shit up, but it was nice to just talk through it with his best friend. Although he was sure there were rules against a caretaker/aunt being his best friend, hence why he has Harry and Luna as back-ups.

"Those are borderline cool, although they can both get super whiny and suicidal. You're not going to start cutting are you?" She asked humorously but there was an edge to it as though she was really prodding the air.

"Nah, I'm not that emo." Draco shrugged with a smirk trying to lighten this up some. She just nodded though and turned back to the screen, her smile gone as she watched the drama unfold. Tonks was still pale, but even though he knew something was wrong, he also knew she would never talk about it. She could be dying and wouldn't say a word.

When Harry punched Draco in the face, and he knew he deserved it. That secret he couldn't remember came up again. Somehow, amidst all the chaos and death, Draco forgot the first secret Harry ever told him.

After the punch which made Draco see flashes of colors as blood dripped from his throbbing nose, he saw Harry down some white pills. He should have been in more pain, and he knew his nose was broken, but those pills had him now and Draco needed to know what the fuck was going on.

"You fucking punch me because I forgot something you didn't want me to tell anyone in the first place, and now you're doing drugs?"

"Draco, you just don't get it," Harry said in a voice that was saturated in an old pain Draco was just too immature to understand. Just like that, he knew he'd lost. Harry said it and now nothing that comes out of his mouth will be able to fight him, or change his mind. Draco just doesn't get it.

"Fine," Draco snarled and left without a look back, but he knew it wasn't over. He'd be back, just like Harry would be back as well.


End file.
